steak knife

people have been assuming the guy responsible for this was crazy or on drugs, so that’s good– at least he is not thought to be mentally stable AND desperate at the same time– but here’s what happened to me today.

walking down the avenue (mariano escobedo, a busy street in a central-north area of DF) at 4pm. i had my headphones on, moving at my normal breakneck speed. there was a reasonable amount of people around me, including two women only about 3 meters up ahead on the sidewalk, one of them pushing a stroller.

between the music and bolting down the street, my attention was focused internally. until i realized this guy who had stopped near me on a bike was yelling “DISCULPAME” at me. he seemed pretty angry.

i took out an earbud, slightly irritated, gave him a questioning look.

“dame tu celular,” he said. kind of growled, actually. he looked down. i looked down. he was holding… a steak knife. he was about 5 feet from me, still on his bike.

i looked back up at his face. he was probably about 22. “dame tu celular,” he said. his voice went up a kick.

i saw the ladies were pretty close to me, and his bike was on the street, below curb level. i imagined grappling with him, the steak knife. i actually did smirk, just a little,  as i put my earbud back in and resumed walking. quickly.

he angled his bike up onto the curb, but by that time i was walking around and crossing over in front of the ladies. i looked back and he was glaring at me behind them, fully on the sidewalk now.

i kept walking to my door, only about a block away. when i got there i turned around and didn’t see him.

i didn’t really know what to think. i went upstairs and made some quesadillas. on my way out again for another job i transferred my laptop to a reusable eco grocery bag and told the doorman what had happened. he stood on the porch and watched me walk down the street, but he figures the guy was on drugs. the only thing is the dude seemed really healthy. aside from thinking he could hold me up with a steak knife in broad daylight, i mean. people also seem to think he doesn’t live around here, so that’s good.

i should have just been like, “cero cuatro cuatro, cinco cinco….”

l’esprit de l’escalier.


4 responses to “steak knife

    • Two young kids tried to rob my roommate lats Wednesday around 4pm with a crappy knife. They asked her for two pesos and she said no. They pulled out a pocket knife, she screamed and the two parties ran away from each other. She thought they were on drugs too.
      Maybe they saw something similar on tv?

  1. Que es 04455?

    Yay for witnesses, but sorry for your strange experience. I guess he thought it would be an easy transaction? Broad daylight?!?!

  2. 044 55 is the mobile phone dialing code for Mexico City. Thank you for asking. Get it? “Dame tu celular”…? ;)

    Yeah, I don’t really know what was going on. If he wasn’t crazy, he was definitely an amateur. Hopefully if I emasculated him it was to the point that he will give up his life of crime rather than just decide he should be using a gun.

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