girl problems

So I went to an awesome show on Thursday night, Erick Rincón at the Centro Cultural de España. I like the CCE not just because they usually have good shows and it’s free, but also because it’s got a good atmosphere and there are normally some pretty interesting people there. It’s gotten to the point where I usually know someone there even if I go alone.

I felt particularly good about going on my own on Thursday because I was there mainly to dance and was only really interested in checking out Rincón. Also since in general I love dancing and get really focussed on it, it kind of doesn’t matter if I am with anyone anyway.

But one thing that sucks about going out alone is, even in cooler places like the CCE, you usually run into people (dudes) who assume that you would rather be with them than be alone. Well, they’re not thinking about your druthers at all, actually.

This happened on Thursday night, with a dude who got all huffy when I ditched him to go to the bar. “Qué pedo??!” Then his friend (who was cool, by virtue of the fact that he was wearing headphones at a live music show), came up to me and was like “Didn’t you come with him? Why did you leave him?” “Fuck no, I didn’t come with him… you didn’t either?” Ha, ha. He was like, “Oh, I see.”

It’s not even that the dude was that boring or annoying, just that he wasn’t especially cool, and more importantly, I knew what was on the horizon as soon as he came up to me. This cycle repeated again that evening with someone else, another dude who was way more chill about it, saying, “Don’t worry, I will leave you alone.” But still, I knew what was on the horizon.

I need to develop some kind of way to tell them. “Just because I don’t want to hang with you doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re a skeeze. It just means I don’t want to hang with you.” Even though I shouldn’t have to.

What ends up happening is these people I am less interested in disrupt my opportunities to hang with people I am more interested in. That’s the main thing that annoys me I guess. For example, on Thursday, I ran into my friends Jorch and Alan and a girl who was cool who is a friend of theirs, Lorena. And then an acquaintance, Cuauhtémoc, invited me to the afterparty that I presume Erick Rincón was attending. I was going to go and bring the more chill dude and his friends with me. That is, until they tricked me into going really far away for tacos with them– they told me their taco place was close to the afterparty; in terms of taco joints 10 minutes in taxi is NOT close. I went for tacos in Colonia del Valle instead of partying with people I was interested in getting to know. Fail. So now I kind of just resent the dudes I went for tacos with, even though they were decent enough guys. Other than their disregard for my will, I mean.

I am coming to resent them even more now because the initial guy has called me six times. (I haven’t answered except by text.) Basically I resent it because I knew it. I knew he wasn’t that chill, and I knew he wasn’t really going to leave me alone. It’s like, I try to enjoy whatever conversation gets started because why should I blow off someone just for being friendly. I met one of my favorite people that way (only one, mind you). Also it’s like, less of a waste of time if an interesting conversation can come out of it. But how often does an interesting convo actually happen? And more importantly, how much more time do I waste by trying to give it a chance?

So this is what I am saying. I have to learn to just tell these people. If you have to try that hard, that means it’s not going to happen. Hard-won attention is generally not the type of attention you should want. But then again, if they don’t already know this, how likely is it they will understand if do I tell them?

Lame. I guess I should just tell them to leave me alone from the outset. Even if it costs me a couple of free beers.

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